


a world without colour.

by littlekittenbigcat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Could Be Canon, M/M, Oneshot, Short, Wishes, what never was tm.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25746205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlekittenbigcat/pseuds/littlekittenbigcat
Summary: a world without sugawara koushi is a world without colour for sawamura daichi.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Kudos: 13





	a world without colour.

At first, it was just the occasional glance. A flash of a smile, a feeling in his chest. The desperate wish to dance and sing and rest with him, to spend eternity by his side.

Then, it was walks: under the stars, the music of their beating hearts and short breaths all that filled the air. Unspoken words remained unspoken. Days spent by each other's side, comfortable, warm, complete.

Then, it was the goodbyes, this stretch in his chest, this hate, because everything about this felt wrong.

There was so much to say.

There was so much to do!

"Goodbye. I wish you happiness." was all he could say, unspoken words choking him off and fighting to stay down, to stay unspoken, and he desperately didn't want the other to leave.

"Goodbye." that one word from the other, from the one he had ached for and danced with and walked with. From the one person who'd ever truly seen him.

The one word broke him.

It took a while for him to get on his feet. He did, though, finding love, finding a home, a place.

He should be happy.

Why isn't he happy?

He has a wife, kids, a career.

Why isn't he happy?

It takes seeing his old friend at a reunion to realise why he was like this. Why everything felt like nothing.

Again, like he had so many years ago, he couldn't help but feel that pull, that desperation for more, for everything the other was willing to give.

He wouldn't abandon his wife and kids and career for someone that probably never felt the same. For someone that has certainly moved on. For someone he never deserved.

So he keeps on, ever desperate, ever miserable, ever pretending that he feels alive.

A world without Sugawara Koushi is a world without colour for Sawamura Daichi.

He can't help but wish he could remember those walks more clearly.


End file.
